“What does this say?”, Marley asked as she handed me a piece of paper that says “MOMSADPLAIS.”
She has been acutely interested in spelling things lately and wrote this message after seeing one too many bouts of mom’s crying.
It’s weird how I either seem to be all logic or all emotion. Since Saturday evening its been mostly emotion.
Tonight it was triggered by a receipt dated 8/25/07 from a green building store in Minneapolis where Mike and I purchased a trailerload of recycled bluejean insulation.
And of course, I figured out that that happy, exciting, optimisitic shopping trip was precisely 20 days before his death. The contrast in life outlook between those two days couldn’t be more stark.
In August, we were going places with a budding socially-responsible business. On September 14, everything changed. Shattered dreams, shattered plans, shattered hopes, shattered family, everything shattered to shit.
Now, I still have a few rolls of that insulation and I am unable to decide whether to put it in the house I’m working on (the logical thing to do) or to horde it for my next building project in my own home (the emotional thing to do).
You know you’re fucked up when you start having emotional attachment to insulation.