Many folks have asked how the kids are doing. Amazingly, they seem ok much of the time. But then, I suppose if you saw me all day, you might think I was ok, too.
However, I go through long spells of spaciness, forgetfulness, crying, numbness, insomnia etc. But I can still (usually) carry on a decent conversation.
Avery is still smiling and joking a lot. Still very high energy. But his temper flares more easily and he has been doing a fake crying thing that quickly changes to laughter if I make the right face at him. Today, however, he had a major temper tantrum about not going on a playdate w/Marley (although he had a playdate of his own).
Finally, it occured to me to ask him whether he was mad b/c he wasn’t going on his sister’s playdate or b/c he was mad b/c his daddy was gone. And then it came out for about 10 minutes, red faced and screaming; he was mad about his daddy being gone. He just kept sobbing ,”daddy, daddy, daddy” over and over again. Then he drew an angry picture with a crayon and the “tantrum” was over. That was the first time I saw him cry while directly and outwardly connecting it to Mike’s death.
Marley is more introspective, quieter. I know she’s processing a lot right now. She says Mike is with her all of the time, helping her through the day.
Thanks to all for your love and good wishes.