Creating an Urban Homestead
I would have cried had it not been so ludicrous; picture me in a downpour wearing heels and white pants while a dragging a metal gate behind the 12-foot trailer being towed by my minivan.
First sign of trouble: a disturbing grating noise coming from behind the van as I drove to see a performance of “The Nutcracker” at Samford University. My first thought; please don’t tell me I’m dragging my gate down the street. I’m already late. Continue reading “The Gate from Hell”
Another first–a non-holiday milestone that Mike has missed. One of those things that I know he would have loved to celebrate with her. And maybe he is. It’s just not that apparent to me.
Marley is soooo excited. When this happened, I of course was happy for Marley, but my mind also immediately went to “well, here’s another thing that Mike will never get to enjoy.”
On this weekend, I want to again thank everyone for their love and support. We could not do this alone. We ate Thanksgiving dinner at my mom and stepdad’s house along with my aunt. It was nice and quiet.
Ten years ago, we walked the French Quarter
Hunting for rings on our wedding day
Thinking we would spend full lives
Traveling, carefree, growing old gracefully.
Instead we worked, had babies; hitting our stride only recently Continue reading “Happy Anniversary”
Sometimes the weight of what has happened hits me like a wrecking ball. It is all I can do to not crumple to the floor and disappear. But it is good that it comes in waves because if the real impact of this horror hit me for a full day, for instance, I don’t know if I could continue to breathe. Even now, my breath is shallow and I’m having a hard time believing that my heart is even beating.
It is so strange going through the day as if nothing has changed.
Bring the kids to school; work on the books; close on a house; bullshit with the real estate agent; answer the phone; meet the HVAC guy; talk to the guys doing demolition work on my houses; listen to the radio; read a snippet of a novel. Continue reading “Life as a ghost”
Why this morning?
Is it because I’m going to close on a house by myself today (we bought nine houses together)?
Because it is All Souls Day and the wall between the worlds is at its thinnest (and why can’t I feel you, Mike?) Continue reading “Can't stop crying”