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Farewell, friends

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“I never thought this day would come,” said Marley, right. Her best friends Veronika and Yan packed up and moved to New York. Their family and ours along with other friends spent the morning in our kitchen packing food, eating, telling stories, while the kids watched a DVD together. Such a sad ending to a Mayberry-like relationship with our sweet neighbors Anton, Lena, Yan and Veronika. They were there during the worst time in my life and I’ll be forever grateful for their love and friendship over the past two years.

Continue reading “Farewell, friends”

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Tear-filled goodbyes and a difficult introduction

Back to reality. Whatever that is. Kids are home from their month long trip to New Mexico. They stayed with Mike’s mom Dinny and her husband Frank in Las Cruces. From all accounts, the trip went swimmingly well for everyone.

Dinny brought them back yesterday and flew out of Birmingham today. About an hour before she left, Avery asked if he could go back to NM with her. “Just for a day.” And then he asked why she couldn’t stay here longer. Oh God, I knew what was coming. A big burst of tears after he said goodbye to her at the airport. Absolute sobbing. And I thought to myself, “I don’t remember him crying like this after his dad died.” Of course, he was three then and surely didn’t know the ramifications of what had happened to his dad.

“We’re not going to see grandma for a long time,” he said in the car. Continue reading “Tear-filled goodbyes and a difficult introduction”

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okey dokey here we come

It feels like (and is) the next big chapter in my life. Flash has built me a beautiful light-filled office on what used to be the back porch, and the kids have seperate rooms to come home to tomorrow.
I came home from a party just now thinking I’d cut the grass and Flash beat me to the punch. He’s already out there slogging away, so I sneaked in the office (which has giant windows overlooking the back 40), grabbed my laptop and brought it into the kitchen to get in a quick blogging entry.
We’ve given my (our) house a name. Flash’s house on southside was given the name “The Asylum” years ago. One night he casually asked what we are going to name my (our) place. I blurted out “The Okey Dokey Ranch.” We both laughed and I promptly forgot about it.
A few days later, Flash said that he really liked the name I gave our house. He had to remind me of the name. Much easier than naming a child. Though I feel like The Okey Dokey in some strange way IS and will be our child. Our big creation together. Continue reading “okey dokey here we come”

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Michael–past and present

I’m in love with a man named Michael. This is more than a bit strange, I will admit, and it has caused occasional confusion when I refer to him as “Mike” or “Michael” in converstion with those who knew the father of my children.

Luckily, Michael’s nickname is “Flash.” He is funny, sweet, creative, generous and understands and accepts my past and present grief. And he loves my children. And I love his daugher.

He has had his experiences with death, too. Brother, mother, grandmother.

Continue reading “Michael–past and present”

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Happy endings just a fairy tale?

I am not so sure my story will ever have a happy ending. If this week of lying on my back is any indication, I really don’t have much of a support system to speak of, my workload is huge, my parenting skills suck, and my income is bordering on negative. But other than that, I can’t see why people aren’t completely jealous of my lifestyle.
This is my brain on no exercise, little support and a fucked up back.
Yuck. Mike has left me a mess to clean up. Forever. Thanks, man.

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Avery's Birthday note to Mike

I love you daddy from Avery. You are the best. I’m sorry you’re in heaven. I’m sorry your body is dead. Dear Daddy, I’m glad it’s your birthday today and do you have presents in heaven? You’re being so nice in heaven. Love, Avery
“Oh my God, you stepped on bird poop.” I ate bagel cheese pizza, Marley ate salad. Mom is writing out that and isn’t she so nice?

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And now a word of thanks

I must say that despite my circumstances (which I rant on about ad nauseum, I know), I must say that I am really lucky to have so many beautiful people in my life.

After my last post, this month has had a much more positive hue, due 100% to the kind and generous souls that I am so lucky to have crossed paths with:

The short list–thank you’s for the last three weeks: Continue reading “And now a word of thanks”